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Sunday, October 4, 2015

My Entry for Round 2 of the 2015 NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge Uncomfortable



I made it to the second round of the competition. For this round, I was given heat 11, genre: romance, location:statue, object: a donut and word limit: 1,000 words.

My entry title: Uncomfortable.

Brief Synopsis: As head of security for The Met, Jack Sullivan naturally feels a bit uncomfortable when he discovers that his ex-wife Kate will be leading the police's investigation into the attempted theft of a statue. Will his discomfort lead to more painful encounters with his ex, or will it prove to be a fertile ground in which to sow the seeds of romance?

As with my first entry, I used a real place, and a real statue for the setting and location of my story, but both are used fictitiously. None of the characters in my story are based on any real persons that have existed at any real point and place in time.

This story is copyrighted by me, and no one has permission to use my story, in part or in whole, without my prior express written permission, except for a short excerpt used to conduct a review of the story. 

Please read my story and let me know what you think in the comments section below. I especially desire to receive any specific suggestions for how I can improve my writing skills and the story overall. 


Uncomfortable

By Lyn Brooks

Jack scowled as he stood; staring at the display case, examining it for any sign that would explain why the alarm had gone off, again. All of the statues were undisturbed and in their places. There were not any obvious marks on the glass, and nothing was missing, again.

Jack swallowed the last bite of his stale donut that he held in his left hand, and raised the flimsy paper cup that he carried in his right to his mouth, grimacing at the bitter taste of the hours old coffee. He crumpled the now empty cup in his fist as he wheeled around on his heels to walk back to his office and await the arrival of the police. As director of security for The Met, there had been too many early mornings and late nights over the last few years for Jack Sullivan's liking.

He stopped making his way forward when his eyes caught a hint of movement. It had come from the shadows that gathered near the base of one of the temple pillars that marked the entrance to the exhibit. His mind began to race, had he actually stumbled upon his would be burglar?

Jack's feelings of fear and apprehension turned to aggravation. The scowl returned to his face as he saw a familiar figure walking towards him. It was Kate, Detective Kate Sullivan.

With her petite frame, overly sharp, angular features and brown hair that was more prone to kinks and frizz than genuine curls, she was not what Jack or most other men would have considered beautiful in the typical sense. Still, as Jack well knew, Kate had a way of capturing a man's attention when she talked with him and looked at him. Her emerald green eyes sparkled when she met a man's gaze. They were always shining, as though she was laughing at a secret joke that only she knew. Her rare smile hinted to a man that she might let you in on the secret and share it with you if she liked you.

As Jack had discovered, much to his discomfort, when she had shown up at the scene two nights ago, Kate was in charge of the police's investigation. That meant they were going to be working together, in close proximity, until the would be thief was caught. Jack felt his face flush at that thought. He didn't know if he was irritated, frightened or excited, the sensation made him uncomfortable.

She came to a stop in front of him now, her eyes smiling in laughter. Same old Kate, Jack thought to himself. As his ex-wife it was a forgone conclusion that she didn't like him, and so, would not be sharing anything with him anymore, especially any secrets.

They walked back to the display case in silence and stood side by side looking at the exhibit statues. "You got here quick," he stated dryly.

Kate shrugged her shoulders in response, "I was up already up, when I happened to notice on the clock that it was close to 3. Since the alarms have gone off the past two nights around the same time I thought I would go on ahead and make my way over in case it happened again. Guess my hunch was right."

Jack forced himself not to ask her why she was already up so early, was something, or someone, keeping her from sleeping? He left the question unasked and just nodded as he replied. "I just can't figure out why whoever is doing it would target this particular case. There's nothing particularly valuable in here when you compare it to the other stuff in the Egyptian collection or rest of the museum! It's just Old Kingdom statues and some other odds and ends from 4th Century Giza."

Kate smiled as she gestured towards a specific statue. It was the royal acquaintances, Memi and Sabu, a married couple. The statues stood together facing them, smiling, Sabu's arm around Memi's waist and Memi returning her embrace, his hand gently resting on her breast, the picture of wedded bliss. "I know they might not be as valuable in terms of price, but I've always been especially fond of this particular statue, Jack."

Jack's eyebrows shot up, silently asking her, why, in reply.

Kate shrugged her shoulders again. "I don't know, I mean, just look at them. Look at how relaxed they appear - and they are carved out of stone! Their very comfort with one another shows! Have you ever seen statues, or living people for that matter, look so happy and content to be standing so close to one another? It's almost erotic."

Kate turned to look up at him and Jack felt his mouth go dry and his heart began to pound. He suddenly became very conscious of the presence of the wadded up cup in his hand and shoved it into his pocket, out of the way. It was Jack's turn to shrug his shoulders now. He bent forward as he nodded his head towards her, "They do look happy, don't they?" He asked gently, almost in a whisper as he extended his arms and hands towards her, "Is that what happened to us, Kate? Were we just not able to relax when we were together and get comfortable?"

Jack's heart tried to hammer its way out of his ribcage as Kate stood there staring silently. Several minutes passed. He had just begun to silently berate himself for being foolish and started to draw back to make a retreat to his office when Kate stretched out her arms towards him and took one tentative step forward.

Looking into one another's eyes, the pair embraced. Jack lowered his face towards Kate's and felt the crackle of electricity as their lips touched. As he pulled back he was relieved to see Kate still smiling up at him as she replied. "I don't know that making each other uncomfortable is such a bad thing."

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Photo is of the painted limestone statue, Royal Acqaintances, Memi and Sabu, c. 2500 BC, Old Kingdom, Giza, 4th Century from The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Egyptian Collection. From Flickr, The Consortium

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